Clothes after a death
Short answer: There is no deadline for clothes after a death. Put them away in boxes and decide when you are ready, ideally together with someone from the family. What matters most is that you do not have to rush.
There is no rush
When someone has died, there are many practical things to take care of, and clothes are rarely the most important. They can wait. Nobody expects the wardrobe to be empty after a few weeks, and most people find it gets easier with time. Allow yourself to wait until you have the strength for it.
The practical part first
Put all the clothes in boxes and place them somewhere they will not need to be moved. That is enough at first. The wardrobe is cleared if the room is needed, but you have made no decision you might regret. Label the boxes with the room or drawer the things came from.
Choose the right day
Wait for a day when you have plenty of time and, if possible, are not alone. Set aside about an hour and stop when it becomes too much. This is not a task that has to be finished in one afternoon, and you can return to it whenever things feel calmer.
When you are ready
Divide the clothes into three piles: keep, pass on within the family, and donate. Do it with someone else if it is hard alone, because a second person can help carry and give you a break. Nobody has to keep the same pace, and stopping halfway is fine. See bamboo shorts for men.
What you keep
Choose a few things rather than many. A single garment where you can feel the person often means more than a whole box. Pick what you would actually want to look at or wear, not what you think you should keep. You do not have to justify your choice to anyone. See bamboo dresses and bamboo shorts for women.
What can stay in the family
Ask the family whether anyone would like a garment or two before you give anything to others. It can mean a great deal to a sister, a friend or a cousin to receive something the person wore. Send a photo of the clothes if you live far apart, so everyone has a chance to speak up.
What you donate
Clean, intact clothes can go to a charity shop or an aid organisation, where others will enjoy them. Worn or torn items can often be handed in as textile waste, so check the rules in your municipality. It can bring some peace to know that things are not simply thrown away.
If you find it hard to begin
It is not unusual to keep postponing the task because it hurts. Try starting with something small, such as a single drawer or a jacket in the hallway. If you want to talk to someone about how you are feeling, your doctor or a grief support group can help.
When clothes become a memory
After some time, what was once hard to touch can become a gentle way to remember the person. Some wear an old garment in daily life, others keep it in a box and take it out on special occasions. There is no right way to do it, only your own.
Frequently asked questions
How long can the boxes stay
As long as needed. There is no right time, and many leave the boxes for months or years until they feel ready to look at the contents again.
Should the whole family take part
It is a good idea if several people are attached to the things. That way you avoid misunderstandings, and everyone can have a say before anything is passed on or handed in.
Can you get help
Charity shops often collect clothes when it is a whole home, and your municipality can tell you what applies locally. A friend or neighbour can also help with carrying and packing boxes.
You can find the full range at Bamboo-Clothing.com.
